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Hello me. Hello you.
Here's my weekly essay.
Starting from this week.

SA1=Topic=Fear
I got 24/30.
Some words and sentences in the essay might seem 'extra'. Ignore those. I was trying to reach the word minimum of 250. :P Read and comment yeah? The yellow highlights are the edited words.

Fear
         Fear is a lingering emotion within us. It is unavoidable and unexpected. You will never know when you will experience the chilling fingers of fear, clenching your heart, squeezing it with every heartbeat. Unfortunately, I know I feel it often. I have a ghastly story to tell and until this tale id told, this heart within me burns.
         The setting was a school. My school. The year was nineteen-eighty-nine. I was a student in that school. A farouche person there. I was shy, reclusive and I feared people. Human beings like you and me scared me. Walking down the hallways sent shivers of fear through me. I felt that I was being watched. That a thousand unblinking eyes were watching me. The eyes of others were my prison and their thoughts, my cage. I felt restricted being around people.I felt like they were judging me. Snickering at my clothes, gossiping, laughing at me.I felt the chilling fingers of fear every time I walked down the hallways. It clenched my heart and squeezed hard.
         The fear of humans started when I was eleven. It was a school performance and I was the star and as I stood on stage, facing a thousand and one guests, I forgot my lines. I was jeered and laughed at. My fellow performers mocked me. I could see th mocking in their eyes! Stone walls and iron bars do not make a prison, the eyes of others and their thoughts do. The people who laughed and jeered at me that day, locked me in a cage and threw away the key. To think that people could be so horrid and unforgiving!
         As you can see, their actions caused a deep fear to take root within me. A fear that will never go away. It lingers. My tale ends here and yet the horrid burning of my heart continues. Alas! I am resigned to my fanatical(I wanted to put fatalistic but it still turned out right in the end) thoughts.
         
         For fate is unavoidable and so is fear. Fear. The lingering emotion within me. The bane of my existence(I don't like this phrase). It will never leave me. 


How is it?
According to Mr Kang, the HOD,

                       Accurate Writing that Shows Apt Use of a Range of Vocabulary.

                                                                                                   -Mr Vincent Kang
So what do you all think about this essay?

Hello me. Hello you.
Here's my weekly essay.
Starting from this week.

SA1=Topic=Fear
I got 24/30.
Some words and sentences in the essay might seem 'extra'. Ignore those. I was trying to reach the word minimum of 250. :P Read and comment yeah? The yellow highlights are the edited words.

Fear
         Fear is a lingering emotion within us. It is unavoidable and unexpected. You will never know when you will experience the chilling fingers of fear, clenching your heart, squeezing it with every heartbeat. Unfortunately, I know I feel it often. I have a ghastly story to tell and until this tale id told, this heart within me burns.
         The setting was a school. My school. The year was nineteen-eighty-nine. I was a student in that school. A farouche person there. I was shy, reclusive and I feared people. Human beings like you and me scared me. Walking down the hallways sent shivers of fear through me. I felt that I was being watched. That a thousand unblinking eyes were watching me. The eyes of others were my prison and their thoughts, my cage. I felt restricted being around people.I felt like they were judging me. Snickering at my clothes, gossiping, laughing at me.I felt the chilling fingers of fear every time I walked down the hallways. It clenched my heart and squeezed hard.
         The fear of humans started when I was eleven. It was a school performance and I was the star and as I stood on stage, facing a thousand and one guests, I forgot my lines. I was jeered and laughed at. My fellow performers mocked me. I could see th mocking in their eyes! Stone walls and iron bars do not make a prison, the eyes of others and their thoughts do. The people who laughed and jeered at me that day, locked me in a cage and threw away the key. To think that people could be so horrid and unforgiving!
         As you can see, their actions caused a deep fear to take root within me. A fear that will never go away. It lingers. My tale ends here and yet the horrid burning of my heart continues. Alas! I am resigned to my fanatical(I wanted to put fatalistic but it still turned out right in the end) thoughts.
         
         For fate is unavoidable and so is fear. Fear. The lingering emotion within me. The bane of my existence(I don't like this phrase). It will never leave me. 


How is it?
According to Mr Kang, the HOD,

                       Accurate Writing that Shows Apt Use of a Range of Vocabulary.

                                                                                                   -Mr Vincent Kang
So what do you all think about this essay?